debated whether to hit 'send' for 16 years...

Soooo... i was hoping you will laugh at this nonsense... since you also seem to delight in the random and ridiculous. At least, i think you do...since i'm not bored with you yet. ;) Yeah, i admit it- despite my best attempts, my inner-nerd will not be silenced. sucks for you, my dog, others who i seem to geek out with. so the point of my de-railed train of thought had something to do with how we are ALL a bunch of assholes and noisemakers and shameless self-promoters and work sucks, bureaucracy follows fear and leaves in its wake not too much but organized and rationalized-away chaos. your little rant last nite about the bullshit of it all...work/life/the idiots who fill the spaces in-between, etc.... well, it made me think and i enjoy ranting in print much better, sorry... yeah no, the point there (i'm reaching, here...) was something about people who suck are not gonna see that they suck, nor why they suck, nor are they going to suddenly stop sucking. so stop caring, and let it go....what the fuck, it's way more fun to laugh about how absurd shit can be when you're just over it and the hair-pulling/wall-punching/counting-to-ten/throat-slashing can just be some fodder for the memoir later on....but no longer consumes you, because you're too busy yukkin' it up at all the silly people and their nonsense-talk to get angry. that's what i had to do eventually... it's not like i have some awesome story of why, i guess... but i did get to a point in my rage where it was just unbearable and alienating and then i started writing it all down. and whatta ya know? it was obvious in reading what i'd written that nobody i was so mad at had any clue that they were a deuschebag. what was even crazier to swallow- admitting that even if i unleashed the fury on them? the release would be a hollow and empty victory; because not a single 'wrong' would be realized or accounted for; or even apologized for.... so let go. take it and throw it out the window and laugh at the sound it makes when it hits the pavement behind you, because that's always super-hilarious. i preached and probably pissed you off, and yeah...it was for the sheer fact that i didn't want to not care about you. or what you had to say. hope that's okay, and that you want me to care. (cause i think i do....maybe.) :) (and yes, i am fully aware of how preachy and selectively-sighted i sound here..but it's been a long time since i cared at all about anything or anyone enough to preach. let me have my moment.... ) ;) and expose myself for what i really am sometimes... and one of those times seems to be today/in this email-foolery... because i think we share a similar sense of irony in the face of ass-backwards people/situations/circumstances, etc.)