for e.

you bounce back from where i keep you hidden behind stacks of cigarettes i've smoked since you last told me to stop it and i said no thank you but i'd rather spend all i have left with my tongue wrapped around less words and more parts of your shape or at least flicking fingertips cigarettes smoking down whole nights one after another you point out and i say something outrageous like maybe i love you outlined next to my face underneath streetlights and pretense and you made me skip home instead of just letting go still here i am now, months and cold showers after you and how many chains have i smoked and linked daisies together with since unhinging my elbow from your own and plenty of nights, i know better than this but still want to call you up begging for something like bliss you won't give me even though i remember things you told me old stories glory days and words you made dance and me sweating left panting for more of you and pieces of me came off in your palm like ink blurred the lines and words together from the rain as we ran through it laughing and making me breathless as usual in the days before and just after you came and i left without taking my heart back.