you and i well, we still know well how each other would look on the other side of the end of you and i. i proved to be less less of everything although more a mess and your mind and my madness and all that got left in your wake and still now i wake up sometimes before noon and it's only because i've been calling your name out loud like you wished i would have done when it mattered and not now nor any blink in the ever after which came to pass between the you and i and the khyber pass which was not worth the indian food in my own mind i guess though i never will know, and that's what i know now, some day like its neighbors i separate them only by all the things i covet and all the reasons i can scratch out on a notepad for why i love you less and less and less and all the pencils and index cards i could find are covered in lies like this i know not much anymore but i write and i lie because otherwise why bother feigning sanity or clarity or eating things like cereal with marshmallows and when i know the truth so well i believe you knew once that you and i and we the palette for undoing years of damage ingrained inside me and knotting your insides over fear and your belly which i didn't mind so much as your back when you turned and you left and for better and far worse still i remember your back and you not turning back not even still and i just stood in the street til i didn't. i think i fell or something else happened, i can't recall it happened recently in the interim and after so really, i readily agree that it doesn't matter much since you were not there and i have not been wholly anywhere in the what followed and still you never looked back like i never looked forward long enough to see you leaving and stealing the sheets you may have i would never know since i sleep sitting up close to the door just in case... you.