i catch a chill and inside is the shaking and always like this is when i think too much and too long and you would have nothing to say and little want to care now but you know well how i feel like tomatos diced and in bits and sneezing from god only knows what gives when record highs give in to record-shattering lows and smack of me smack in the middle of winter at the apex and climax of a sandstormy summer but you know and i don't but tell them now how i get when the cold and dark is all rising inside and explosions means you show no mercy for me now i already know this and in august every time the snow of ice nightmares no relief anywhere i get lost like my mind and i'm inside and i'm chattering teeth and outside are sprinklers and barbeques and 85 degrees but here in this bed i cry and i pile blankets over bedsheets and i curl up and hug my knees for lack of anything better or rather less likely to run away which i understand that is what knees might be made for the running and the away so it's always like me to hug cautiously in the minutes and months and the lightbulbs i've had to change since you walked and so slowly creeped to a crawl almost you may as well have i wouldn't have noticed you leaving if you had a fireworks show and canons shooting off and now it does little for the ice cap kneecaps and braindead frostbite all toes and noseholes it's not like i have felt a single thing since that august several back when that first low, low, mindblowing low bottomed out me and where were the weathermen then, who needs them now? i already know how the death toll and what was lost in the storm stay tuned for scenes from apocolyptic high's in miami uncaring for new york city and for who you traded in with your boots and coat and you said i looked pretty in the obituary picture you saw on the news tragedy befell the bed you left empty left me to choke on icicles frozen stuck and sprung from eye sockets or pennies.